Swaffetus must be lazy

I've been trying to concentrate on feeling the baby move, but I still haven't felt anything. It should be moving around a ton, but I just don't know what kind of feeling I'm looking for. I've read that first time moms can't distinguish the baby's movements until later, but I know something has to be going on and if I just focus enough I'll be able to tell.

Once I feel it moving then I think I'll feel like I'm really pregnant. The tiredness, growing belly, sore back and feet, and big appetite just haven't really convinced me. I sometimes feel like there's no way I can actually be having a baby! I don't feel like I'm old enough to be a mom (even though I'll be thirty when it's born) and the idea that Kyle and I are going to be responsible for a baby seems ridiculous!

Maternal Instincts

I was hoping now that I'm pregnant my maternal instincts would have kicked in and babies wouldn't immediately start crying when I held them. So I tested it out a week ago at Camy and Cliff's wedding with Aurora, Chris and Tara's new 8 week old baby. She was perfectly happy when Camy was holding her, but the second I took her she started crying. And I had no idea what to do. It was just as terrifying as usual.

Kyle thinks it's hilarious and talks complete strangers into handing me their babies just to make me uncomfortable. Everyone says it will be different with my own baby, and I'm sure they're right, but it still worries me! Luckily Kyle is the Baby Whisperer so he can calm down Swaffbaby until I get it figured out.

18 weeks!

I'm at 18 weeks today. I thought I hadn't gotten that much bigger, but now seeing the picture from a month ago I guess I have! I've gained 5 pounds now, so 3 pounds just since my last doctor appointment 2 weeks ago. I've been eating a ton so I think I'll be growing pretty fast now.